Disasterous

Bong's paper was really screwed big time. One of the worse paper I've ever had in NUS apart from the first LSM paper. Gradually the more I think about it, the worse it gets. So many silly mistakes, can see that I underperformed under tremendous pressure as well as unnecessary anxiety. Was telling myself not to think about it, but the most I resist, the more the thought surfaces up in front of my Biotech lectures. This really sucks.
Sometimes I just felt so disappointed when one works so hard, and trying hard to put in their best efforts but yet... total disappointment due to unexpected circumstances. I can't believe I have to go through this in my 6th exams in NUS.
Felt so condemned and depressed, that I asked Hann what's gonna happen if my results are going to be bad. Will he change his mind? I know it's a silly question... But I was looking for some place to fall back in during times of desperation. Well, he said, worse come to worse he'll hired me to work for him. (side-tracked...)
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Last paper's coming up. My zeal to study has been fluctuating. A part of me wanting to compensate for the disaster on Friday, a part of me telling me that it's total bullsh*t as hardwork sometimes doesn't pay off... And yes a part of me, is slumbering off due to the chronic stress that has been going on since Reading Week. I'm trying to resist the dark side and go by the conventional way, as it has always been.
Let's just keep it short... Keep it up! Biotech is fun! Biotech is interesting!